So Garrett’s birthday is right around the corner…. Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmingly grateful for this man, and how much happiness he brings me. We have it pretty darn good. I mean, we are both super awesome… and have amazingly good looks… and we are too cool for school…. jusssst kidding! (Because our first impression for people is usually stuck up, we like to act like we are- it’s a running joke in our household). We are OBVIOUSLY not perfect, and we have only been married just under 5 years, but I wanted to share with you 5 things we have worked on to make our marriage happier, and may do the same for yours!
Just remember….marriage is hard! It takes work! HARD work. But let me tell ya, it is sooooo worth it! And also, NOBODY has a perfect marriage! Quit comparing yours to other couples you know. If you focus on the relationship between you and your spouse, and you both give 110%, your marriage will be perfect for YOU!
5 ways to a happier marriage:
1. Be selfless
Serve each other! You feel more love and happiness toward yourself and other people when you serve…FACT! Show your spouse some love by performing acts of service for them in secret. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate! Just daily small acts of service will do.
2. Learn how to communicate effectively
THIS….this is a hard one for us. You and your spouse are two different people who see the world in two completely different ways! You probably communicate very differently! Learn how to communicate effectively with each other and be sure to lay down your pride and see each others point of view. Learn from them and they will learn from you. We have found that once we show a little understanding we are more willing to accept each others point of view. And remember the cardinal rule: “If you don’t have anything nice to say…. say nothing at all!!!!!!” Or even better…say something kind! haha!
3. Never go to bed angry…unless you have to
Have you ever heard anyone say that to have a good marriage you should never go to bed angry? Well I couldn’t disagree more! In our experience we get into the WORST fights when we are exhausted. Trying to stay up to resolve these fights often take hours because we don’t have the mental capacity to try to reason and understand. Many nights we eventually just go to sleep, and when we wake up in the morning we feel better and can talk about it in a more productive and calm way.
One rule for us though is that we ALWAYS sleep in the same bed. When your mad and your pride is hurt this can be hard. Just bury that pride deep down inside and invite your partner to come to back to bed, go to sleep (you don’t even have to cuddle!), and talk it out in the morning. This works wonders for us!!! It helps that we aren’t so exhausted the next day so we can avoid getting into another fight haha.
4. Spend quality time together
Put the phones down people! I didn’t just say time, I said QUALITY time! I personally struggle with putting my phone down… Find something you both enjoy doing and invest some time each day for just you two. It can be 5 minutes, to indefinitely long! Gare and I love to dream together about our future goals and dreams. We also try to go on a walk every night because it is our time to disconnect from the crazy world, enjoy nature together, and just talk.
A weekly date night is another great way to be sure that you are spending more quality time together each week. It gives you a chance to get all gussied up for each other, and build your relationship even more as you put everything else on hold.
Don’t underestimate the power of a hug! We were told by a very wise person once that we should take time every day to hug for at least 10 full seconds. Mississippi seconds… No cheating on this one! Physical affection will always do wonders in building a happy and healthy relationship!
Our marriage is not perfect, (we had a little spat the other night haha) but Garrett and I are on the same team working toward the same goal. We have found, through many arguments that could’ve been avoided, that effective communication is the key to a happier marriage. Also, by spending quality time together on our nightly walks we are able to connect on a deeper level. We make sure to take the time to hug at least once when we get home for 10 seconds. And remember, don’t go to bed angry….unless you have to!
Which of these tips are you going to work on this week? Have any others to add? I would love to hear them! Email me, or leave a comment below! Thanks for joining me today!
Happy Birthday Garrett!!!!
***Here is a Pinterest graphic for you if you want to remember these tips!